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 This One is not the Same

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Hiroshige

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Posts : 221
Join date : 2018-01-12

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PostSubject: This One is not the Same   Sat Mar 24, 2018 12:42 am

Name: Ink Blast Thing
Rank: B
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: 30m
Description: After three hand seals, the user may release a blast of fuinjutsu ink either as a stream or in a small, low powered wave. The stains nearly everything and mixes with other fuinjutsu patterns, binding to them and altering their shape. When doused in this liquid, the seal in question become ineffective, the pattern no longer holds its shape, and its effects and effectiveness is terminated. This has no effect on limited fuinjutsu.
Requirements: Personal/Uzumaki

Name: Wraith or Something
Rank: S
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: Self
Description: The user activates a pre-placed seal upon himself to seal away his physical nature away, turning him temporarily into something akin to a ghost, gaining brief intangibility from anything which is not currently under this effect. In this state he cannot perform any actions other than move at his normal speed or sensory skills. This ends currently active jutsu and the user is rendered invisible from non-chakra based sight.
Requirements: Jae/Uzumaki

Name: Winged
Rank: A
Type: Ninjutsu
Element:
Range: Self
Description: By controlling the air around himself, the user can propel his body through the air in a form of flight. It confers no bonuses other than the ability to simply soar through the air and launch aerial attacks and the like. Moves at user's speed with full range of control and motion.
Requirements: Personal

Name: Air Dome Descent
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Range: 100m
Description: Releasing wind chakra in a wide area, the user instantly decreases the air pressure of the surrounding area by may magnitudes. This quickly causes fatigue in those afflicted and anyone with stamina less than the strength of this jutsu (100) will be forced to pay 50% increased chakra for all techniques and upkeep costs. Additionally, this lower pressure inhibits the oxygen uptake of the blood, essentially causing anyone in the area to begin suffocating regardless of how much air they intake. The user is unaffected by this.
Requirements: Jae

Name: Stand
Rank: D
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: Touch
Description: By forming a seal on some portion of the user's body, he can create a mobile platform on which to stand, hang, or otherwise cling. This platform does not move and dissipates if moved off of or if the upkeep is not paid.
Requirements: Jae

Name: Sky Palace
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Range: 100m
Description: Initiated by a finger snap, the user activates his chakra to instantly seize control over the air in the surrounding area. So long as he continues to pay the upkeep, he can compress any amount of air within his field of power, creating an immense crushing force equal to being struck by a wind release technique equal to the power of this jutsu (100).
Requirements: Jae


Name: Alone
Rank: A
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: Self
Description: A seal placed upon oneself, once activated by paying the activation cost this seal will temporarily seal away the wearer's ability to be perceived, rendering them fully cloaked from every form of detection.
Requirements: Jae


Last edited by Hiroshige on Tue Mar 27, 2018 3:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Roku
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Age: 14
Tier: S-1
Clan: Senju

PostSubject: Re: This One is not the Same   Tue Mar 27, 2018 3:16 pm

Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Ink Blast Thing
Rank: B
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: 30m
Description: After three hand seals, the user may release a blast of fuinjutsu ink either as a stream or in a small, low powered wave. The stains nearly everything and mixes with other fuinjutsu patterns, binding to them and altering their shape. When doused in this liquid, the seal in question become ineffective, the pattern no longer holds its shape, and its effects and effectiveness is terminated. This has no effect on limited fuinjutsu.
Requirements: Personal/Uzumaki

Nice concept. I'd make it something like D-S, requiring that the level of jutsu required to achieve the desired effect is directly proportional to the rank of jutsu you are wishing to disrupt. Additionally, I'd say that using this technique either does not work on techs that seal items/beings, or automatically releases whatever is sealed. Jinchuuriki seals in addition to limited ones should be unaffected.

Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Wraith or Something
Rank: S
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: Self
Description: The user activates a pre-placed seal upon himself to seal away his physical nature away, turning him temporarily into something akin to a ghost, gaining brief intangibility from anything which is not currently under this effect. In this state he cannot perform any actions other than move at his normal speed or sensory skills.
Requirements: Jae/Uzumaki

Is the user still visible when in this state? Also, please include a note that sustained jutsu would be broken.

Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Winged
Rank: A
Type: Ninjutsu
Element:
Range: Self
Description: By controlling the air around himself, the user can propel his body through the air in a form of flight. It confers no bonuses other than the ability to simply soar through the air and launch aerial attacks and the like.
Requirements: Personal

Please include speed and perhaps level of control the user has over their air movement.

Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Air Dome Descent
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Range: 100m
Description: Releasing wind chakra in a wide area, the user instantly decreases the air pressure of the surrounding area by may magnitudes. This quickly causes fatigue in those afflicted and anyone with stamina less than the strength of this jutsu (100) will be forced to pay 50% increased chakra for all techniques and upkeep costs. Additionally, this lower pressure inhibits the oxygen uptake of the blood, essentially causing anyone in the area to begin suffocating regardless of how much air they intake. The user is unaffected by this.
Requirements: Jae

This is a legitimate auto-hit on anyone with less than maxed out stamina. You definitely need to revisit that concept in a different way.

Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Stand
Rank: D
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: Touch
Description: By forming a seal on some portion of the user's body, he can create a mobile platform on which to stand, hang, or otherwise cling. This platform does not move and dissipates if moved off of or if the upkeep is not paid.
Requirements: Jae

This looks like something that would definitely make more sense as a Ninjutsu

Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Sky Palace
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Range: 100m
Description: Initiated by a finger snap, the user activates his chakra to instantly seize control over the air in the surrounding area. So long as he continues to pay the upkeep, he can compress any amount of air within his field of power, creating an immense crushing force equal to being struck by a wind release technique equal to the power of this jutsu (100).
Requirements: Jae

You need more specific guidelines on how this jutsu "hits." At the moment, it seems to be auto-hit, which is a nono, same as above.


Hiroshige wrote:
Name: Alone
Rank: A
Type: Fuinjutsu
Element: N/A
Range: Self
Description: A seal placed upon oneself, once activated by paying the activation cost this seal will temporarily seal away the wearer's ability to be perceived, rendering them fully cloaked from every form of detection.
Requirements: Jae

A few issues with this. First off, it is a concept that belongs more to Ninjutsu than Fuuinjutsu. Second, For balance reasons, you cannot form attacks while in this state. Third, You'd need an upkeep as well, and if you are using chakra, you need to be able to be sensed by chakra sensing techniques. And to avoid vague manip of the jutsu's text, rather than saying what forms of detection CAN detect the user, when you add these limitations, just include what forms of detection can NOT detect the user. Additionally, you're ignoring the perception stat, which is a big nono.
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Hiroshige

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PostSubject: Re: This One is not the Same   Tue Mar 27, 2018 3:25 pm

Ink Blast Thing: I might remove, pause on that for a sec if that's alright.

Wraith Thing: Edited.

Winged: Edited.

Stand: i can change it if you want me to.

Air Dome: Please review these.

Sky Palace: Same as above.

Alone: Please review these.
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Roku
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Posts : 201
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Ninja I.D,
Age: 14
Tier: S-1
Clan: Senju

PostSubject: Re: This One is not the Same   Tue Mar 27, 2018 8:15 pm

Stand: Yeah, I'd prefer that to be a Ninjutsu unless you can logicify me and show me why a Fuuinjutsu should be able to do it.

Air Dome: After some deliberation by staff for techniques of this kind (the whole auto-hitting thing...) Please remove the suffocation effect and greatly reduce the range at which this is possible to about 20 meters.

Sly Palace: This is an auto hit that has plenty of potential to auto kill. I cannot approve it in its current form.

Alone: If you are referring Magen: Okki,it is a Genjutsu, and while its trigger is hilariously easy to pull off, is something that could (sorta?) be realistically achieved with Genjutsu. Not to mention, we have the perception stat which allows people to detect these jutsu and then means to counter them.
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